Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Seek What They Sought

This past month has consisted of hellish fluctuations between doing too much and doing too little, of bouncing between 4 hours of sleep a night and 10, of falling behind and working my butt off to catch up again. Now that the semester is almost over, I feel like I can take a bit of a breather.

.....
*phew*
.....

I graduated from college on Sunday.

The ceremony itself was a bit chaotic. We were moved from Zellerbach to Haas Pavilion because of a (paying) event taking place at the same time. The class of 2009 shared the stage with former UC Berkeley students whose education had been interrupted in 1942 by Executive Order 9066, the ordering of Japanese-Americans into internment camps. Chancellor Birgeneau condemned the recent attack on his house by a group of radicals who smashed windows and threw torches at police. The student speaker reassured us that "si, se puede" (yes, it can be done). Norman Mineta advised us to "stay loose" and be ready for anything. And after over an hour and a half of speeches , all 400 of us were cattle-called up to the podium to receive our scrolls. I got my 5 seconds on stage, and then it was over. It didn't feel over, of course. I still had finals to take (3 down, 1 to go!), things to pack up, memories to stow away...

It didn't hit me until hours later, after everyone had gone and I was left in my room to ponder and reflect, that in the eyes of my university and my family, I was an alumna. School had always been something I could depend on and even, on occasion, look forward to, and it was over.

And then came the even bigger realization: my future is a blank slate for the first time in my life. It's equal parts exciting and terrifying. I have no idea what I'll do. Work or grad school? Stay local or go abroad? I don't even know where to start looking. I guess for now, I'll just take it easy and keep my eyes peeled for something intriguing. After all, 4+ years of college have taught me two important lessons: 1) no one can make your decisions for you and 2) the best experiences are often found when and where you least expect them, by stumbling upon something extraordinary. And as anyone who knows me can attest, I am an excellent stumbler.